Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Pondering over Blog Topic

Ah, it is another fabulous weather day in Kansas....NOT. It is cold and wet and miserable. Yesterday was sunshine and 60 degrees....but today is the total opposite. We woke to a thunderstorm.....and it is February. Then it was raining and blowing horribly when I had to lug the kiddos from the vehicle into daycare. It stopped raining for a short time mid-morning and now it is drizzling and frigid. We have snow on the way, so better batten down the hatches and get ready for a chilly night.

The reason I am pondering over the Blog Topic is it is death. I guess I will start from the beginning. A friend of the family has been sick with cancer. He was diagnosed with pancreas and liver cancer about 2-weeks ago and given about 6-months to a year to live. This was devastating to his family. He has 3 grown children, and I have been friends with his daughter for many years. Not close friends, but have lunch occasionally and exchange e-mail photos of the children, etc. Well, when my aunt was over on Sunday, she told me that Jack was not doing well and they had readmitted him to the hospital. I guess he was just in severe pain and suffering. On Monday morning at 3:00 a.m. I awoke and had this strong feeling that Jack had passed on. I laid there for about 30-minutes thinking about his family and how they would handle the passing of their 64 year old husband, father and grandfather. I eventually went back to sleep and did not really think about it again until my aunt called mid-morning to tell me that Jack passed away at 3 a.m. Now, I am freaked out at this point. Why would I wake up around 3:00 a.m. and have a feeling about Jack???? I am not really that close to him or his family. My only explanation is that his situation was weighing heavy on my mind right before I went to sleep the night before.

The bizarre visions continue....late Monday morning I was headed to the doctor's office and I had a strong feeling that I would run into my grandparents there. Well, I pulled into the parking lot and decided that since it was sooooo full that I would just park at the empty end and walk the few extra feet, rather than try and find a closer parking spot. As with any familiar parking lot, we usually park in the same area each time we go (like Wal-mart for example), but on Monday, I went the complete opposite of where I normally go and pulled into a parking stall right next to my grandafther's truck!!! I am freaked out once again!!! I then got into the office and there they sat...waiting to see Dr. Detweiler. I rationalized this coincidence because I had talked to my grandmother on Sunday afternoon and she told me that she needed to see the doctor about her foot. She complained about the automated phone at the doctor's office, so I told her to press zero and then just ask the operator for her doctor's nurse. I knew that there would be a good chance that they would be into the doctor's office at some point on Monday....but how ironic that we both had appointments at 11:30 and that we parked right next to one another.

I guess it made me realize that there is a power greater than us guiding us through this hectic, crazy world. We have little control over anything. Jack's untimely death just made me more in tune with my emotions and realized that it could happen to anyone at anytime...including me. I worry about my grandparents and their health and their age. My grandfather will be 87 in June and he is still driving and they live on their own. I know that they cannot live forever, but the thought of them passing on is very hard for me. I am not close to my mother or my father, but my grandparents have always been there for me. Anyways, I called my grandmother today and they were both feeling better....so I felt better.

Well, I guess I should probably get some work done this afternoon, as I need to jet out right at 3:30 to pick up the kiddos.....daycare lady is going to a basketball game out of town!