Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Light Bulb Moment

I came home early from work to sneak in a much needed nap before the kiddos get home. Like I have mentioned before, this cold is kicking my butt!!! I found myself watching the Discovery Health Channel. When I awoke from my mid-afternoon siesta, the show I Lost It! was on. It is a show that profiles people who have lost a large amount of weight AND kept it off. There was one woman in particular that really caught my attention. Her name is Julia Havey and I really felt as if I could relate to her story. Granted, I don't need to lose large amounts of weight; but I was able to relate to her ice cream cravings. She talks about how she would bounce checks to pay for her ice cream habit and have no remorse. Julia talked about how a light bulb went off that made her realize she needed a change in her lifestyle and her eating habits. For each of us, that moment or that 'rock bottom' is different. For me, I don't know if I have truly reached that point. There are times, like today when I am feeling lousy, that I feel entitled to eat that crap! What is wrong with me that I feel just because I am sick, I deserve to make myself feel better by eating cookies? I mean, that mentality is NOT healthy. But how many of us do that, on a daily basis? We rationalize our unhealthy behavior because we are afraid of a little hard work. We would rather jeopardize our longevity, our health, our lives, and our families lives just for that fix! That one moment of joy will now be hours and hours of guilt! Instant Gratification!!! My problem is, I don't cheat on occasion.....I cheat on a daily basis. To make matters worse, I am a closet eater. I hide my cheating moments!!! Obviously, I am not proud of my behavior, so I do it alone! Then, I wonder why I don't see many changes in my body. Or I wonder why my digestive system is sluggish. I am on a roller coaster ride to no where!
Two years ago, I joined several of my sorority sisters in a weight loss challenge. It was about this time of the year when we started, as the Walk Kansas challenge was a major part of our motivation. I was determined to win that competition (which in the end, I did not), but during that, I lost weight....ate healthy....and felt great! The problem is/was, once that challenge ended...I stopped focusing on my healthy eating. I went back to my old ways. I am back to where I started from and that makes me sad.
Why do I keep doing this to myself????? How can I get healthy and stay healthy?????
I am not getting any the time to do something about my poor eating habits is NOW!