Sunday, September 23, 2007

Crazy Busy Life

In exchanging the daily e-mail with one of my best gal pals, she made a comment that I lead a busy life. I stopped at first and I don't - I am just as normal as the next gal. But really....I do live a pretty busy and structured life. I think that I keep my schedule and my life packed full of activities on purpose. In the past, I have struggled with depression and anxiety disorders. After years of therapy and finding just the right medication, I finally feel sane. But I honestly feel that part of my sanity diagnosis comes from keeping my mind busy all of the time and surrounding myself with opportunities for activities and social interactions and family time and 'me' time. Personally, I feel as if I have a good balance in my life. Keeping my mind active and focused on positive things is the key to keeping me away from the dark hallways of depression. I could sit and dwell on the past. I could obsess about my rocky childhood with an alcoholic mother and abusive step-father and a non-involved biological father. I could grieve over the loss of my first marriage and question my own ability to be a good mother and wife. I could beat myself up for dropping out of college and making bad choices with money and other things in life. HOWEVER, I have chosen to be happy. I have made the conscience decision to choose positive over negative. I have chosen to see the glass half full. I refuse to let the horrible things in this world take over my mind, body and soul. Don't get me wrong.....I don't see the world through rose colored glasses. I know that there are terrible things that happen to good people all of the time. I also know that people cause horrible things to happen to others and to themselves. But I have made the decision to not be an emotional victim. I would rather take my personal experiences & pain; and turn them into strength to change something in this world. Whether it be raising a few bucks for the American Cancer Society or volunteering at the local school as a mentor for a troubled teen or letting my housework pile up while I spend quality time with my children. I have been given a second chance in my life many many times, so I need to take advantage of these opportunities and live each day to it's fullest.

I learned two things from my ex-husband: First being - to love myself before I can love anyone else. Secondly - the power of the mind is stronger than anything else...Mind OVER Matter. This is easier said than done....but I am living proof that it can happen.


Tanya said...