Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Down and Out

Well, I don't have a lot to vent about today. On Monday, I had a severe migraine headache. For those of you who have never experienced a migraine, you should feel lucky. Migraines are miserable headaches that can ruin your entire day. They creep up on ya when you are least expecting them. Your head pounds and your stomach aches and every sound is amplified 300 times. Oh, the smell of food makes you want to hurl. It feels like a mack truck has ran you over.

I made it through work, but I was feeling pretty rough by the time I got home. My hubby did the best he could around the house and he even fixed supper. But by the time 8:30 p.m. rolled around, I was pretty grouchy and groggy and just plain nasty. After a couple of Tylenol PM, I was doing much better and I feel MUCH better today.

Cool Website

A friend of mine sent me the following link....


It is really cool and self-motivating. Enjoy!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Work vs. Rewards

I am always preaching to my friends (and myself) that marriage is work. Just because you have that magical wedding does not mean that things will always been happily ever after. It takes patience, communication, sacrifices and trust from both parties to make it succeed. I can't imagine my life without my husband. Even though he drives me crazy some days, I would rather have him driving me to the point of wanting to bang my head against a brick wall, versus not having him in my life at all. I have some wonderful memories from us dating to buying our first house to the birth of our first child. I would not trade him in for anyone else. On days when he is annoying the crap outta me, I need to remember that I am not the easiest person to live with either. (see previous post)

The rewards of marriage definitely out weigh the work involved.

Sour Monday

I awoke in just a sour ass mood today. You know those days where everyone and everything annoys you. I think it stems from last night. I had been cooped up all day long in the house with the kiddos, so I decided to take a much deserved walk, alone. I summoned the hubby away from the big screen and headed out the door in my walking shoes. It was a gorgeous evening. I was blessed with a beautiful sunset. The pink and blue colors in the sky were absolutely amazing. About 3/4 way through my walk, the hubby called, asking where I was. I gave him my location and ETA and we hung up. I continued to enjoy my evening stroll. Once I got back home, the youngest was obviously hungry, so I fed her and then it was bath time. After bath time, it was only natural to get on our jammies and settle in for the night. Well, baby had other plans. I was frustrated and annoyed and just wanted a little extra help from hubby, but he had already sprinted back downstairs to the comfort of his big screen and computer, so I was stuck with a cranky baby, a hyper toddler and an even crankier 11-year old. Needless to say, by the time mommy was able to make it bed, she was cranky!!!! I guess I woke up today with some of the same crankiness. Plus I have a headache and just don't feel like myself. I really hope that I am not getting sick.

Well, off to finish my Healthy Choice frozen lunch. I spyed some cheesecake in the cafeteria.....I might have to sneak myself a piece.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


I have been lax on my dinner postings! Here are a few from the last few days:

Penne Pasta with meat sauce, broccoli and garlic bread.
Grilled Steaks with baked potatoes (sweet for me), salad and corn on the cob.

Here are a few for this next week:

Tostadas with mexican rice
Chili with cornbread muffins
Chicken Pot Pie
Chicken Parmesan with salad
Skillet Lasagna with broccoli
Pork Roast with slowed cooked veggies

Happy Cooking and Eating

Crazy Busy Life

In exchanging the daily e-mail with one of my best gal pals, she made a comment that I lead a busy life. I stopped at first and thought...no I don't - I am just as normal as the next gal. But really....I do live a pretty busy and structured life. I think that I keep my schedule and my life packed full of activities on purpose. In the past, I have struggled with depression and anxiety disorders. After years of therapy and finding just the right medication, I finally feel sane. But I honestly feel that part of my sanity diagnosis comes from keeping my mind busy all of the time and surrounding myself with opportunities for activities and social interactions and family time and 'me' time. Personally, I feel as if I have a good balance in my life. Keeping my mind active and focused on positive things is the key to keeping me away from the dark hallways of depression. I could sit and dwell on the past. I could obsess about my rocky childhood with an alcoholic mother and abusive step-father and a non-involved biological father. I could grieve over the loss of my first marriage and question my own ability to be a good mother and wife. I could beat myself up for dropping out of college and making bad choices with money and other things in life. HOWEVER, I have chosen to be happy. I have made the conscience decision to choose positive over negative. I have chosen to see the glass half full. I refuse to let the horrible things in this world take over my mind, body and soul. Don't get me wrong.....I don't see the world through rose colored glasses. I know that there are terrible things that happen to good people all of the time. I also know that people cause horrible things to happen to others and to themselves. But I have made the decision to not be an emotional victim. I would rather take my personal experiences & pain; and turn them into strength to change something in this world. Whether it be raising a few bucks for the American Cancer Society or volunteering at the local school as a mentor for a troubled teen or letting my housework pile up while I spend quality time with my children. I have been given a second chance in my life many many times, so I need to take advantage of these opportunities and live each day to it's fullest.

I learned two things from my ex-husband: First being - to love myself before I can love anyone else. Secondly - the power of the mind is stronger than anything else...Mind OVER Matter. This is easier said than done....but I am living proof that it can happen.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Perfect Ending to a Perfect Day

I am sitting out on my back deck, listening to the sounds of the evening. I love hearing the crickets chirp. I love seeing the first glows of the lightening bugs. There is something surreal about sitting out in nature and taking in it's energy. Nights like tonight remind me of the summers back when I was in high school. I can remember one night when we went pool hopping. It was probably 1 a.m. and we went searching for swimming pools to sneak into. We found one and jumped in and splashed around until we were afraid of getting caught by the owners. I can still remember that night and the clear sky and the stars and how I felt as we jumped over fences and ran through yards, like bandits in the night. Oh, we thought we were such rebels.

I am at peace. My 4-year old is helping my hubby in the garden, as they tear out the old plants and prepare the soil for winter. My daughter is babbling and giggling and content in her exersaucer. We spent a wonderful evening together as a family. (Minus the oldest as he spent the night with a friend)

A super amazing woman has suggest that I read "The Secret". I need to check out the book from the library. I will see about that tomorrow. But on that note, my husband often worries about money and retirement and college for the kiddos and weddings. He worries that we won't have the money and our children will suffer. I had to remind him that our life is rich with things that money can't buy. We have our 3 beautiful children. We have our health. We have our marriage. We also have a nice house and vehicles and a fridge stocked with food. We have clothing on our backs and a little money in the bank. We have wonderful friends and supportive family and each other. Sometimes we need to look past the monetary challenges of life and open our hearts and minds to the wonderful things that we have been blessed with......

Another quote from another amazing woman...."Count Your Blessings"......

Well, the mosquito's are attacking! Back inside!

e-bay virgin

Well, I did it.....I made my first official purchase off of e-bay. Up until today, I was an e-bay virgin. I was guilty of being a tease for many years.....I would search for things and see good deals, but would never 'go all the way'....but all of that has changed now. I bid on an adorable pumpkin Halloween costume for my daughter. The sad part is....I paid MORE for shipping, than I did for the actual costume. Now I will get to sit back and wait and see if the item arrives. Hell, my brother bought a truck on e-bay....surely a $12 purchase won't prove me wrong. But now I am worried....I mean, I feel like I am high on crack cocaine or some other illicit drug....I want MORE....more deals, more products, more adrenaline rushes as I hope I am the highest bidder. It is the thrill of the game....hoping I can out bid the next guy with my 50 cent increases and get the deal of a lifetime. I felt like a drug addict as I was sitting next to my laptop, waiting for updates on my bid. Hoping I would get that next hit in the bidding war. I was literally glued to the computer and even 'shushed' my husband away in desperation to keep my attention locked on the screen. My next purchase might be the Leg Magic exercise machine. A co-worker has been using it and after having 4 children, she is back down to a size 3.....WOW.....I would love that! They retail for $200 new, but they are way cheaper on e-bay....ahhhhh, back to e-bay.....you can buy anything from there. I was amazed...well more like shocked at the crap that people are trying to sell. Socks? Hair Ribbons? Onsies? I mean SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!, it is the lazy man's garage sale for both the buyer and seller. No need to get up at the crack of dawn and drive from house to house, trying to find that hidden treasure. Now you can shop anytime day or night for that same exact junk. Whoever invented this idea is a genius and I am sure super rich!!! I worry that I could honestly have a shopping addiction. But at least the first step is admitting I have a problem.

Friday, September 21, 2007

yummy Soup

I whipped up a batch of cheeseburger soup for dinner. It was super yummy. It is basically a potato soup with Velveeta and hamburger added. Of course, I was not paying attention and it started to boil. When I reached the pot and started to stir, I realized that it had started to burn on the bottom. I quickly removed the pot from the heat, but a little of the cheese had already burnt. So then I got the pleasure of scraping out the burnt portion, while salvaging the remainder. It tasted just fine, with little to no hint of burnt cheese...but I was still frustrated with myself. I was trying to do too many things at once...rather than nursing the soup along. Oh well, at least I made my family a home cooked soup from scratch, rather than just opening up a can of Campbell's and calling it good.

Now we get the lovely task of cleaning out the freezer!!! Maybe I can talk hubby into DQ after we are done slaving away.


Okay, so people are slowly starting to notice my new 'do' and comment....which makes me feel wonderful. I think was so used to the bank when co-workers would notice and comment to me daily. At my new career, the people are less interested in my 'looks' and more interested in my teaching abilities.....crazy!!!! I work at a school....who would imagine?!?!?!?!?! Actually, it makes me feel fabulous to have people appreciate me for my brains and not just my hot bod....hehehe

At any rate, I have received some much needed positive feedback from my students, from an adorable woman who works in the executive office, and from my sorority sisters last night. Everyone needs that little ego boost now and again.

I know, I should not be so vain, but my hair has always been an important aspect of my appearance, so I strive to always look nice and keep my locks maintained. I have felt guilty recently though. My best gal pal has gone through some life changing events recently as her 4-year old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia over the summer. After watching mother and daughter go through the trials and tribulations of chemo, I have realized the truly important things in life....and my hair is not one of them. Especially as you watch the thinning hair of a gorgeous 4-year old and see her spirit shine as she talks about wearing fun hats. She has been blessed and did not loose all of her hair. However, she would be beautiful with or without her long wavy locks.

My point being....family and friendships and love and security from those relationships are the most important things in life.

Frozen Explosion

Okay, note to self....do NOT leave unopened cans of soda pop in the freezer...as they WILL expand and explode inside your freezer. My husband is notorious for doing this. He loves to chill his Pepsi to the point of it being a slushy consistency. However, he 'forgets' that he left the can of pop in the freezer and then it explodes and creates this gigantic, sticky, frozen mess all over the inside of my freezer. I got home yesterday from work and was running around like a crazed maniac trying to get my house cleaned up before my sorority meeting. I open up the freezer to check the ice level and discover another explosion. I immediately pull out my camera phone and snap a few shots to send to hubby, so that he knows what he has to look forward to later in the evening. "Sorry dear....don't even think we are getting giggy with it....you get to clean up the freezer." (I am sure that made him want to rush home to his gorgeous wife) It does not help matters that I have the freezer packed full of frozen breast milk either. So now we have a freezer stocked to capacity with breast milk, ice cream, Lean Cuisine meals, frozen burritos and waffles and veggies, along with 'mystery' food that I shoved into a freezer bag and crammed into the deep dark hole of the 'freezer'....now all of these things are covered with sticky, frozen Pepsi. Cleaning out the freezer is not a quick task by any means. Nor is it pleasant. It entails removing all items from the freezer and moving them to the sink where they can be cleaned off. Of course you need to dump the ice, as it has a light coating of frozen Pepsi and is no longer edible. Then you get to wipe down the entire freezer. Oh, don't forget about the melting frozen Pepsi that has now dripped down the front of the fridge door and has created this little sticky puddle of goo on the hard word kitchen floors. There is a silver lining to this horrific story.....I am forced to clean out the freezer and discard anything that looks freezer burnt or any unidentifiable foods or the 6-month old cartons of ice cream that I did not like, etc.....I am making a point though....last night at 5:30 p.m. as I am cooking supper and frantically trying to get ready for my meeting is NOT the optimal time to clean out the freezer and create an even bigger mess in the process. So, we decide that hubby will wait and clean out the freezer after my guests are gone. In the meantime, I go to get some clean ice out of the freezer....as I reach to hold open the freezer door, I smash my hand into a pile of frozen sticky Pepsi goo.....I was not pleased. A few choice words exited my mouth and then I look around for little ears and luckily I was not in the company of the 4-year old who would repeat my vocal garbage to his preschool teacher. Also, for some reason, the kitchen was like 300 degrees. The rest of the house was nice and cool and relaxing, but the kitchen was like a mini-oven. I am sure it had nothing to do with my daughter who was screaming in her high chair because she was bored and the 4-year old who had the volume on Playhouse Disney turned up to maximum...all why my hubby was across the street chatting with the neighbor about our new roof. I did unwind with a Miller Chill and some much needed laughter during my sorority meeting.

Off to grade papers! It is Finally Friday!

Thursday, September 20, 2007


I am not really organized or prepared today....and that bugs the crap outta me. I have a list of to-do's about a mile long, but can't seem to concentrate long enough on one chore to get anything done. I have homework and tests and other assignments to grade, but my classroom is freezing and all I want to do is curl up in the corner and take a nap. Tonight I am hosting a Beta Sigma Phi meeting at my house. My house is trashed and I have dirty dishes in the sink and the carpet needs vacuumed and the toilet needs scrubbed. I need to do all of this, plus get supper ready, with three children under-feet...and all before 7 p.m. I think I will just throw everything into my bedroom and shut the door and clean later. As far as supper goes....ugh! I have some left over chicken from earlier this week, so surely I can throw something together. The enchiladas take too long, so maybe tonight will be taco soup, made with chicken instead of beef. I can bake up a batch of corn bread muffins and call it supper! I was gone all day on Wednesday to a software training seminar, so I just feel behind in all aspects of my life. Hopefully after this weekend, I can get everything caught up and feel complete again.

I am starting to seriously think about Weight Watchers again. I am still nursing and dread the thought of weaning my baby. But I need to be realistic. At any rate, once I stop nursing, I fear that I will immediately gain back 10 pounds and I don't want that to happen. SO, I am going to SLOWLY incorporate WW back into my life. I am also going to SLOWLY start exercising again. Hopefully with a sensible and healthy diet, along with exercise, I can maintain my current weight and tone up the flabby spots.

I am administering a test and these people keep talking. UGH!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Post a comment! Don't be shy!

What's for Dinner - Tuesday???

I know that each of you are dying to read my dinner menu....as my blog is the single reason you even log on each day! Tonight we are having Chicken and Noodles. I have cooked my chicken thighs all day in the crock pot. I will pick the succulent meat off the bones and cook up some Reames Frozen noodles in the stock. I will serve it up over homemade mashed potatoes. I will also reserve some of the chicken meat for chicken enchildas later this week. Yum-0

I have to say, yesterday's menu got revamped as I did not have any buns, but I had bisquick on hand. So, I made a sloppy joe melt. My husband gave me this "I'm gonna Puke" look when I told him what supper was. So, I suggested that he start planning and shopping and cooking dinner from now on...as I gave him that "I want to punch you in the face" look.....needless to say, he really loved the dinner and actually did all of the dishes for me!!!

Well, off to get supper rolling. I will chat more later!

Monday, September 17, 2007

What's For Dinner?????

This will be my new daily discussion question. As a busy, working, mother and wife, dinner time can be kinda chaotic if I don't have things planned out and thawed out and organized to some extent. I usually write out a menu.....I need to preface that usually can means sometimes OR always OR never....just depends on my mood. Tonight's menus is as follows:

Sloppy Joes (still need to pick up the buns)
Mac N' Cheese
Corn on the Cob

Super easy! Super fast! And the family will inhale them quickly!

Little Reaction

Well, I guess it does not matter what color my hair is....people simply don't notice me! Okay, so that is stretching it a bit. I did have one student say that my hair looked nice. I honestly expected more reaction, especially after my hair had been a topic in class one day. YES, I realize it is totally not appropriate to be discussing my hair styles in a business class...but I wanted their opinions. Oh well, I am happy with my results and it holds up really well in the WIND.

Do Blondes REALLY have more fun???

Well, I find out today! Since about 1999, I have been a brunette, posing as a blonde! I have been having my hair highlighted (or bleached) professionally since about then. My natural color is somewhere between a light chestnut and a dirty blonde or strawberry blonde or dishwater blonde (as my mother-in-law would say). At any rate, I recently decided that it was time to go back to a more natural color for me. Why you may ask??? Well, the cost of the salon visits kept rising. Not to mention the fact that my eyebrows are way darker than the hair. Plus, my daughter's hair is not super blonde, so I wanted us to match. Crazy.....I know!!!! At any rate, on Saturday, I had my stylist turn me back into a brunette. She used a chestnut color, which had some auburn hints to it. Plus she went back in and added some subtle blonde highlights. It looks as if the sun has kissed my locks. I absolutely LOVE IT. My husband says that my hair looks greasy....but that is just because it is actually healthy and not all bleached out and fried from the years of highlight and flat iron abuse. My stylist also thinned out my hair. Now this is crazy how much hair I really must have had. I feel bald when I wash my hair....but when I style it, it dries way faster, yet I still have tons of hair and body and style. I had her chop off my shoulder length blunt cut and give me a trendy, choppy layers, fun style - with some length for my husband (of course). I actually have a style now!!! I cannot decide if it makes me look older or younger....but I feel younger, so that is all that matters. I can't wait to walk into my job and see how my co-workers and students react to my NEW hair. That will be the true judgement. My oldest son was like "WHAT did you do to your hair?" But he said that he liked it a lot, but he was not prepared for the change, as I had not told him what I was doing. He is 11 and the true judge of what's cool vs. what's lame. I always ask him about my clothes and shoes and such. He is a great resource. Well, time to get ready. Have a FABULOUS Monday!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Flint Hills

I had a delightful drive down to El Dorado to pick up my son. He spends every other weekend with his father, so I get the opportunity to cruise down the turnpike and listen to my choice of music and just have some "me" time. It was a beautiful evening. We were blessed with an awesome view of the rolling flint hills as the sun rays kissed the hilltops and created an amazing glow in the valleys. It was heavenly. I wanted to pull over and take a photograph. Unfortunately, the only camera I had was on my cell phone and it sucks, so there was no point. At any rate, my Sunday Blues disappeared as I took in the marvels of the Lord's natural beauty of this earth. Never take this planet for granted. It is controlled by a power greater than any of us could ever fathom.

Football Widow

I usually hate Sundays. I am not sure why! It is a day off from work and a day to spend with my family. But I am usually pretty down on most Sundays. I would prefer to sleep in late and then take a nap during the afternoon and then go to bed early. I wish I could get over my despise of Sunday, but it just keeps sticking with me. Part of me thinks it has something to do with my first marriage and it's ultimate demise. Back in the day, Sunday was family day. We would go to church together and then head over to my in-laws for lunch and end up spending the entire day with them. They are wonderful people and I always loved being at their house. After my divorce, my Sundays became really dark days for me. I usually spent them with my best friend and her family. But I would always end up feeling like the 3rd wheel and leave so that I could go home and nap. That was 9 years ago!!!! I have since remarried and have two more children. Sundays are chore day around my house. Finish up the laundry and other projects that were started on Saturday. My husband is also a HUGE football fan...so he spends the majority of the day in our family room, watching non-stop NFL games on the big screen, screaming at the television, tracking his fantasy football team on the computer and talking on his cell phone. The rest of us are to stay out of his way and if we try to talk to him, we probably won't get an answer, other than maybe a grunt and a dirty look for interrupting him. We are simply an annoyance to him on Sundays. That frustrates me. I guess I could see him watching a single game, like one of his favorite teams. But all day long?!?!?!?! Hell, I can barely watch an entire re-run episode of Friends, which only lasts 30 minutes, let alone having the luxury of watching t.v. all day long and ignoring my family. He has skipped family reunions and family dinners and other social gatherings to stay home and watch football. Oh, but just wait....once hunting season really kicks into high gear, he will get up at some obnoxious time of the morning to go hunting....then roll back into the house close to noon, to reserve his spot on the love seat in front of the big screen...for the rest of the day. I really need to find something productive for me and children to do on Sundays. Something away from the house for at least a few hours. Like I said earlier, we live in a small town, so our options are limited. And then again, I start to feel sorry for myself because my husband would rather watch football, then spend a day with his lovely wife and children. Oh, did I mention that my husband's father also has season tickets to the KC Chief's, so my husband and his brother trade off going to the games. Which means there are half a dozen Sundays in the fall that my husband is gone from the house totally. I actually enjoy these days better than when he is at home and ignoring us. Sound weird????? Probably! That is just my warped and jacked up thoughts.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

No Patience

Like I said earlier, I love the fall weather. Today, I had an appointment to get my hair colored and cut. I was there for 2 1/2 hours. It was a divine break from the normal Saturday cleaning and laundry routine. Afterwards, I headed to our local Super Wal-mart for my weekly grocery and supply shopping. I live in a small town of only about 30,000 people, so our shopping options are limited. I choose Wal-mart because I can pretty much get everything I need - in one shopping adventure. But since we have basically few choices in this community, at the store, you will see all walks of life. It is amazing the amount of human debris is out there in this world. However, I was lucky enough to do my shopping minus the 3 children, so I was enjoying the outing none the less. I checked out and made my way out to the parking lot to locate my modest Soccer Mom Mini-Van. I was unloading my sackloads when I felt something staring at me. You know that feeling....when you can feel someone burning a hole into the back of your head. I looked up and realized that some idiot in a truck was 'waiting' for my parking spot. This immediately sent me into a silent rage. I am sure that my blood pressure spiked...as I HATE to be rushed. No matter what or when or where....I hate it when I am rushed. It was like someone turned up the heat on my beautiful fall day. I am sure the jackass in the truck was as equally annoyed with me, as I slowed down my loading pace (on purpose). I so wanted to shut the back hatch on my mini-van, lock the doors, and push my cart back inside the store and continue shopping...therefore, not allowing the jerk my spot. Unfortunately, I had perishables and needed to head home. As I got into my mini-van and backed out, I realized that two more cars were being delayed as a result of this moron trying to save himself a few steps by 'waiting' for a good parking spot.

Have we become such a lazy society that we cannot walk a few extra feet into the store? We MUST find the closest parking spot, at all costs!?!?!?! We must circle and circle the rows of parked cars and waist gas and time, rather than parking in the first available spot we run across and actually WALKING into the store. People are so lazy and that annoys me. This man infuriated me and that was 2 1/2 hours ago. I need to let it go.

On a happy thought...I bought my daughter an adorable little dress for the fall. I cannot wait to dress her up in tights and take silly pictures. I have visions of red and orange leaves and pumpkins and hay bails. Oh, the joys of Autumn.

I made up a yummy batch of steak chili and monkey bread. It is ready, so we are going to chow down and enjoy what is left of this gorgeous day. Today, it was 46 degrees when I awoke. The high predicted for Monday is 90....WOW....now that is drastic.

Fantastic Fall

I love fall days....especially the first fall days that roll in after a steaming summer in Kansas. The crisp air that penetrates your jeans and cools your skin. The amazingly clean smelling air. The autumn sunshine that peaks it's head after a morning rain shower. I can't wait to run outside and turn my face to the sun and soak up it's warm rays. I can't wait to burn a pumpkin candle and breathe in the wonderful scents of cinnamon and spice. It is the ultimate sign that fall has arrived. I love having my windows open at my house and hearing birds chirp outside. I love rolling down the windows on my car and feeling the cool breeze. I love falling in love in the fall. Football games and snuggling under a blanket. I think fall is my favorite season. Oh, I cannot forget about the halloween candy that lines rows and rows of supermarket shelves. Costumes and carmel apples and hayrack rides...another opportunity to snuggle up to someone you care about. Long walks and sweatshirts and warm socks. OH, I welcome fall with open arms and embrace the many senses that are brought back to life after a hot, humid, Kansas Summer.

Off to get my hair done. Will write more soon about night out with the girls!!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

1st Post

This is going to be boring, but this is my first post. Just getting started. On break, in a cubicle, doing the breast pump thing. Chat soon!